Lee Suckling: Throuples: The truth about three-person relationships

first_imgNZ Herald 27 June 2018Family First Comment: And so the groundwork of preparing society for group ‘marriage’ continues! This time in the NZ Herald… “As I said, three-person relationships, when consensual, are just as legitimate as any other. They are valid, and for some are the preferred way spend certain periods of their lives. So someone comes out to you as a throuple, try and understand that they’re making the right choice for them at that given time.” No – not ‘valid’, not ‘legitimate’, and not ‘right’. But as we predicted, inevitable. www.protectmarriage.nzThis week I’m delving into territory that sits on the polyamorous scale: three-person relationships. “Throuples”, or “triads”, as they are commonly known, come in all forms but generally include three people in a consensual, mutually-exclusive relationship.All parties know everything that’s going on so there’s no lying or cheating. A throuple is more than just three-way sex: there are emotional connections too. Basically, think of dating two people at once, who might also be dating each other, and everybody in the trio knows about it and what they’re in for.Confusing? Of course. Dating is difficult on its own, and feelings are unpredictable. If throuples can be successful, how do they do it?I’ve spoken to two sets of friends with throuple experience to get a personal insight into how this all works. The first is a gay couple who’ve had two throuples with another man (lasting two and five years, respectively). The other is a heterosexual-presenting couple who now have another woman in their relationship.The common agreement amongst them is that a throuple is an unusual lifestyle choice, but that doesn’t take away its legitimacy. People in throuples also tend to dislike the term throuple, or even labelling themselves at all. I found it too confusing to write a column on the subject without the consistent use of a noun, so I do apologise to anyone uncomfortable with the term “throuple” to begin with.READ MORE: https://www.nzherald.co.nz/index.cfm?objectid=12078110&ref=twitterlast_img read more

Badgers’ McNicoll, Lavelle transfer international experience back to Madison

first_imgWhile most soccer fans spent the first half of the summer rooting for their favorite country in the FIFA World Cup, two names from the Wisconsin women’s soccer roster experienced first-hand World Cup action, representing their home countries for the Under-20 Women’s World Cup.Junior midfielder Kinley McNicoll suited up for the Canadian national team, which hosted the tournament this August, while fellow Wisconsin midfielder Rose Lavelle was garmented in red, white and blue for the United States. Despite their teams playing in different groups, the two Badgers had parallel beginnings at Edmonton’s Commonwealth Stadium; both the Canadian and American squads fell to the competition in the first match, Ghana and Germany, respectively, leaving each bench with little margin for error.“I think losing to Germany and knowing that Brazil was do or die was a huge obstacle that we were able to overcome,” Lavelle said of her team’s tough start.McNicoll’s reflections on her team’s attitude after losing the first match mirrored those of Lavelle’s.“Going into the second game against Finland, we knew it was a must-win,” she said.The Ontario native sported the “C” on her jersey this summer as a team captain, something that comes as no surprise when considering this wasn’t her first time competing at the international level. Four years ago, McNicoll led the Under-17 Canada team to a World Cup championship over Mexico by scoring the only goal of the match.This time around, the Badger proved her ability on the field had only strengthened, as she was a constant presence, applying pressure and advancing the ball in several crucial plays.Lavelle, meanwhile, said she felt participating in the tournament this summer had matured her as a player as well, bringing out leadership skills of her own.“I think on my U-20 team I’ve played a pretty big role leadership-wise,” Lavelle said. “Being a freshman last year, I don’t think I really put that upon myself to be a leader, so hopefully I can bring that back.”And after the way Lavelle looked on the field this summer, most problably would not argue with her. The sophomore played a key role throughout the duration of the tournament for the United States, especially in the third game against China, when she tallied her first international point, tucking the ball in behind the goalkeeper off a pass from teammate Lindsey Horan.“I’ve been with the team for almost two years and I haven’t been able to score, so to get that out of the way was a huge weight off my shoulders,” Lavelle said.Now that the regular season is starting up, what kind of effect will Lavelle’s and McNicoll’s experiences have on the 2014 Wisconsin women’s soccer season?If the first few games are any indicator, the duo’s fast pace and high intensity could carry over into the fall. The pair have already left their mark early on, as each tallied a point in the opening weekend to give Wisconsin two wins.“The international game is so much faster than college. It’s exhausting playing games, physically and mentally,” McNicoll said.Head coach Paula Wilkins seems to be feeling the same way, hinting in her press conference Aug. 25 that she suspects playing at a higher level of competition over the summer could bring some momentum to the rest of the bench.“The game is a little bit slower for them,” Wilkins said. “They bring some composure back and I think that helps the other players.”Looking back at everything the pair of midfielders were a part of, earned and went up against this summer – the captaincy for McNicoll, the goal for Lavelle – both Badgers said their favorite memories were the ones where their teams succeeded together. This is one of the biggest signs that the experience in the tournament could have a significant impact on the Wisconsin squad that was picked to finish second in the Big Ten this season.McNicoll was quick to respond that the win against Finland was her favorite tournament memory.Canada triumphed over the Finnish national team in the second game of the tournament, only a few days after the discouraging initial defeat to Ghana.“At halftime we were down 2-0, and I don’t think for a moment anybody thought we were done,” McNicoll said. “At halftime, the energy in our locker room was just so positive and was great vibes. That was definitely my favorite moment. You live for those moments.”last_img read more

Keeping the book: Dodgers fans keep art of scorekeeping alive

first_imgOne of her favorite scorekeeping books was in 2009, when she snuck into Dodger Stadium and took a picture of her two dogs, Bailey and Sweet Pea, with the “Think Blue” sign in the back.This season, she’s scored 60 baseball games and flips through the pages like it’s a spiral notebook from a semester’s worth of note taking in college.She has the score sheet from when Dodgers pitcher Clayton Kershaw got his 300th strikeout. There was a game that ended on a balk. Lussier, who works as an information technology specialist for the California State University system, said she enjoys being able to look back at a score sheet and remember the game. Sort of like instant replay with a pencil and paper.The downside, she said, is she can sometimes miss an exciting moment because her head is buried in the notebook and not looking at the field.“You have to make choices sometimes,” she said. “You find a balance. Maybe you don’t record every strike and ball and you see more of the game.”She said, however, when Kershaw pitches, she thinks it’s possible he could throw a perfect game.“In that case, I want to have a perfect score sheet,” she said.Pamela Wilson agreed and said she’s missed some exciting plays while keeping score. She said, however, the score sheet makes her feel comfortable. Like it’s part of the game experience.Proulx said she probably has about 500 score sheets from games at home. Lussier said she may have close to double that. Proulx said she also won’t go to technology to keep score.Swapping out paper and a pencil for a smartphone app would be like pinch-hitting a rookie for a Hall-of-Fame-bound veteran.“The app has no character,” she said. “It has to be paper.”When they settled in their seats for the start of the game — a sluggish affair that was 0-0 after the third inning — the scorekeepers dutifully charted pitch counts and noted strikeouts.During David Wright’s at-bat against the Dodgers’ Kershaw in the first inning, the Mets third baseman fouled off six pitches and forced the starter to throw 12 of his 22 pitches that inning.Proulx had to erase a few that she thought were strikes. She pressed hard on the lead to count the pitches. She said she sometimes presses so hard, she breaks the lead.“When I was a kid, I tended to break the crayons, too,” she said.Proulx said she gets great satisfaction out recording history. She just hopes this year will be one where she is charting pitches during a World Series. She’s a former schoolteacher and now teaches martial arts in Claremont. She loves baseball and is hoping to pass along the love to her two grandchildren, ages 6 and 2, though she doesn’t take them to Dodgers games when she keeps score because, well, she sort of really gets into it.“It’s important to give a lot of yourself to others, but to do that well, you have to do something for yourself that brings you joy,” she said. “For me, it’s keeping score during a baseball game.”The focus is intense. And she’s not alone.In the top deck during Friday’s playoff game between the Dodgers and the New York Mets, there were almost a dozen people with their scorekeeping binders dotting the rows of light-blue seats. Each had their own style, but they all bonded in this old-school fraternity of baseball tradition.Jeanine Lussier custom-made her own scoring sheets and, as word got around, others asked if she could make some for them. She said she currently makes about four or five scoring books — complete with a custom photo on the front. Newsroom GuidelinesNews TipsContact UsReport an Errorcenter_img Before she heads to Dodger Stadium, Holly Proulx goes through her equipment checklist. There’s the scoring book. A pencil — with 0.9 thickness lead. Two erasers. Headphones and radio.Oh, and Billy Proulx, her husband.“First time we both went to a Dodger game in 1980, we both kept score,” he said. “After awhile, I figured there was no reason for both of us to do it, so I became her spotter.”That means he has the binoculars slung around his neck while she make notes about the game started.last_img read more